Two sperm are in the body looking for the egg when one of them starts to wonder why it is taking so long. He asks the other sperm, “aren’t we near the uterus yet?”
“No,” replied the other sperm, “we haven’t even gotten to the esophagus.”

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Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Boy”. I call mine “Sex.” He is a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like one, too!” Then, I said “But this is a dog.” He said he didn’t care what she looked like. Then, I said, “You don’t understand. I’ve had Sex since I was 9 years old.” He winked and said, “You must have been quite a kid.”
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said, “You don’t need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don’t care what you do.” I said, “Look, you don’t seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Funny – I have the same problem.”
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. “But you don’t understand,” I said. “I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He said, “Now that cable is all over the place, it’s no big deal any more.”
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I told him I was looking for Sex. My case comes up Friday.

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